


All I Want

by itsallonfire



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Angst, Blood and Injury, Canon Compliant, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, One Shot Collection, Trauma, i just love this ship so i'm filling in the gaps, kyalin - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:48:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26345857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsallonfire/pseuds/itsallonfire
Summary: The most random collection of one-shots you could imagine. Rated per chapter (though I can't see it going past M). Trust me, I don't know what I'm doing either. Give it a read anyway?
Relationships: Lin Beifong/Kya II
Comments: 65
Kudos: 254





	1. Nothing To Do

**Author's Note:**

> This one-shot takes place near the end of Book 1, in the Southern Water Tribe. Rated T.

The Southern Water Tribe was quiet. Outside the wooden window panes were a few flickering lights, perhaps aiding a late-night meeting amongst the adults who had been unable to sleep. The adults who had the energy to voice their feelings effectively. The adults who still had something to give.

Sitting at the table in the dark kitchen, Lin felt like a child, sitting silent on the stairs after bedtime, listening to the dinner party stragglers discuss things she wasn’t allowed to hear. Pushed away to sit at the kids’ table. Nothing useful to contribute. Unimportant. 

Coping with such thoughts would have been easier if she didn’t feel like she was floating several inches above herself, like she had for days. The floor was far away -- the ground beneath it even further. She would usually be able to ground herself amidst the feelings of defeat. Now, the Earth was always just out of her reach. She extended her hand out to touch the stone vase in the center of the table. It seemed unnaturally cold and unforgiving. 

The crew from the city had landed at the South Pole that afternoon, hoping Katara might be able to manipulate her skills to restore Korra’s bending. And then Lin’s, if possible. What Lin had forgotten to anticipate was the presence of another woman -- glimmering, tall, smiling in that way that conveyed more sympathy than happiness. Seeing Kya made Lin feel all kinds of things that she hadn’t wanted to. But when Kya came forward and hugged her, Lin’s heart jumped. All kinds of confusing emotions hit her at once. 

Lin hadn’t been able to cry since Amon captured her. She wanted to, she really, truly wanted to throw herself at the ground and scream and cry that her identity had been stolen from her, but the want wasn’t enough. She couldn’t determine why.

Down the hallway, Lin heard a door open and close. She pressed her glass of whiskey to her forehead, cursing herself for awaking the woman whose home she was co-occupying. 

“Lin?” asked Kya quietly. She switched on one of the table lamps in the living room. She blinked in the light. “Are you okay?”

Lin nodded. “I’m fine. I didn’t mean to wake you.” Her voice didn’t have the same conviction that it typically would.

“That’s alright. I wasn’t sleeping well, anyway.” Kya wrapped her cardigan around herself tighter and stepped past the table to pour herself a glass of water. She leaned back against the counter. “Have you gotten any sleep? At all?”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll get to bed soon.” Lin wanted to shoo Kya away and insist she go back to sleep, but the older woman’s presence brought her a frightening sense of comfort.

Lin tensed as Kya pulled out a chair to sit beside her. Kya said softly, “You’ve been in your room all day. I don’t want to press, but you don’t seem like you’re okay. Just from observation.”

No response sounded correct in Lin’s mind. She had to blink a few times to ensure she hadn’t become a teenager again. 

“You’re cold,” said Kya. She touched Lin’s arm and moved to pull off her cardigan, draping it over Lin’s shoulders. 

Lin glanced over at her and noticed all the things she hadn’t taken in -- Kya had pulled her hair up and it flowed over her shoulder like some magical silver waterfall in a children’s storybook. She wore a thin satin tank top that showed off the curves and lines of her breasts and collarbones when she crossed her arms on the table. The yellow light from the lamp highlighted the soft angles of her face. 

“It’s okay to struggle, honey,” said Kya. She reached over and covered Lin’s hand with her own. “Something big has just happened to you. You were left alone. You don’t need to be strong right now.”

Lin didn’t know if it was the reminder of her trauma or the permission to fall apart, but she covered half her face with her hand and felt tears seep through her eyelids. A foreign sting. 

Scooting closer, Kya’s other hand moved to rub up and down Lin’s back. She didn’t speak, just let the heaviness of the room stay as it was. She ran a thumb along Lin’s wrist.

“I don’t know how to feel,” Lin murmured. “I’m not myself anymore. There’s nothing for me to do here.”

Kya tucked Lin’s hair behind her ear. “Your bending doesn’t make you who you are, Lin. You’re still you. You’re still ambitious and determined and passionate, earthbender or not. We all still love you. I still love you.”

Lin grasped at Kya’s hand and squeezed it. Kya’s touch and the sweet smell of her skin managed to ground her somehow.

Bringing her forehead to Lin’s temple, Kya said, “I’ll be here for you as long as you need me, okay? I care about you. It makes no difference to me whether you can bend or not.”

Lin’s hand trembled as she brought it up to touch Kya’s cheek. She took a moment to connect with that soft, warm skin. Her breath shook. “I love you, too. I’m sorry I’m being such a mess.”

“Spirits, honey, you’re so entitled to be.” Kya was smiling through her empathetic tears. “I want you to cry. It’s good for you.”

After downing the rest of her whiskey, Lin nodded. The dissociated sensation in her fingertips had dissipated. Her heart didn’t ache quite as much as it had hours before, when she had shut herself in Kya’s guest room. She had missed the loving way that Kya always touched her. The waterbender’s soothing voice smoothed over Lin’s swirling thoughts.

“You’re welcome to come sleep in my room with me,” Kya said to her. “If you maybe don’t want to be alone. I know that guest room isn’t very well-insulated.”

“Thanks.” Lin wiped her eyes on the back of her hand. “I think I just need another minute.”

“Of course.” Kya leaned in to kiss her forehead before standing from her chair. “Drink some water too, okay?”

Lin nodded. She listened to Kya descend the hall again and she took some time to breathe, letting her remaining tears evaporate off her cheeks. She slipped her arms into the sleeves of Kya’s sweater. It smelled so strongly of the other woman that Lin couldn’t help but breathe it in deep. Sweet rose sugar and vanilla body wash. Lin wanted to be close to her. She swallowed down a glass of water before switching off the lamp.

The bedroom door clicked as Lin closed it slowly behind herself. She slipped under the covers behind Kya and draped an arm around her waist, searching for her hand to grab onto. Kya pressed her back against Lin’s torso. She sighed. In the dark, Lin was able to believe for a moment that everything was alright, that she was comfortably pressed up against her old lover like she had been hundreds of times before, perhaps just visiting the South on her week off work. 

Lin closed her eyes as a few more tears fell into the pillow case. She nuzzled into the back of Kya’s neck and kissed the warm skin. 

Kya squeezed Lin’s hand. A silent assurance of love. Of safety.


	2. Does it Hurt?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My take on the classic "character A gently chastises character B for being reckless while healing them." Yet another addition of Lin's adventures in emotional vulnerability.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rated T! Some mentions of blood and injury. This one is definitely shorter than the last, but I hope y'all still like it!

The look Kya gave Lin when she came through the front door after work was expected. She sighed, gave Lin a quick once-over, crossed her arms and said, “Come on. Bathroom.”

Lin settled herself on the bathroom counter. She tried her best to pretend like the act of breathing in and out didn’t send shockwaves through her chest and shoulder. Trying to bend away her armor was halted instantly by Kya.

“Nope,” she said. Her fingers worked on the latches at Lin’s sides. “You fucked yourself up too bad to keep metalbending privileges.”

The sheets of metal found themselves arranged on the floor after Kya carefully removed them. The air on Lin’s bruises and cuts brought the stinging back. The sight of blood seeping through her shirt made her stomach turn. She was shocked and embarrassed to realize she was holding back tears.

“Just stay still.” Kya swirled some water slowly around the abrasion on Lin’s left shoulder. Her touch was light and the water cooled the burning, but like all healing sessions, it felt worse before it would get better.

“What do you even do out there to do this to yourself?” Kya asked, likely for about the fourth time that month. “Do all of your officers go home to their waterbending girlfriends like this?”

Lin wondered how to avoid telling Kya that she volunteered to take the blows most all the time. That she hated seeing her officers in pain. What she saw every time she saw one of them injured -- a child, a sister, a father. Creating a shield for them gave her some relief, but it didn’t remove the physical effects on her part. They still hurt like hell.

Kya watched as Lin flinched against the water. She could barely believe the tears that surfaced in the other woman’s eyes.

“Honey,” she said, “is it that bad?”

Lin shook her head. She swallowed a deep breath. “No. It’s fine.”

Kya dropped the water. She stood squarely between Lin’s knees and met her eyes. Lin’s shoulder trembled. It wasn’t the time for tough love.

“I’ve never seen you react like this when I’m healing you. Is something else hurting?”

“No, Kya. Just the shoulder, I think.”

Kya’s eyes fell. She sighed. The water flowed up to Lin’s injury again. “It’s okay to be hurt by things. Remember when I cut my hand last week? I was a mess for an hour.”

Lin rolled her eyes. Kya was no stranger to emotion in the slightest.

“You know, I think you might be tired of putting on that brave face for everyone all the time.” Kya gently lifted Lin’s forearm for a better angle with the glowing water. “You look pretty even without it, I promise.”

If Lin hadn’t been absorbed in Kya’s little grin and soothing hands, she would have laughed. Kya was absolutely correct -- Lin was tired. Always willing to take the brunt but also afraid of the pain like anyone else. Afraid of scaring her partner. 

Finally committing to her after-work vulnerability, Lin leaned her right side against the woman in front of her, head on her shoulder. Kya’s free arm looped around her shoulders.

“You’re allowed to hurt,” said Kya quietly. “I won’t tell anyone.”

Lin kissed Kya’s neck. “I know. It does hurt. But I’ll be fine.”

Bending the water back into the sink, Kya re-adjusted the strap of Lin’s shirt. “I know you will, love.” Her lips brushed over Lin’s forehead. “I know you will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what y'all think! Thank you so much for reading :)


	3. In The Fog

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, this particular story was kind of ridiculously difficult to write. We've had two chapters about Lin and her emotional trauma and this one revolves around Kya's angst, because I think we as a fandom need to acknowledge what her childhood was like as well. I've always wondered what was going on with Kya in the Fog of Lost Souls, so this is my own take on what might have gone on down there. This is also significantly longer than the previous chapters.  
> Anyway. I hope y'all enjoy this!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna say this is rated M purely for how emotionally challenging it was for me (though I'm going to blame it mostly on how much of my own shit I inserted into it). Deals with childhood trauma and unspecified mental illness. Set very generally any time after Book 2.

Kya found Lin the kitchen when she came home from a long day at the hospital. She smiled at the woman cooking her dinner and wrapped her arms around Lin’s waist, chin resting on her shoulder. “How was your day off, love?” she asked.

“Oh, fine,” said Lin. She slowly dished out two plates of food. “Would have been nicer to have you around, of course. You don’t seem to get nearly enough vacation days.”

Kya shrugged. “It’s alright. As long as I get to come home to a pretty woman cooking me dinner.”

Lin rolled her eyes. 

They ate together and Kya discussed the less-gory details of her work that day -- helping with two births, a stabbing victim from downtown, and a kid who had gotten a little too close to a gas stove. Lin liked listening to her talk, of course. She got excited over the smallest details and got to feel like she was sharing a part of her life with someone. The perks of a relationship.

“I can’t imagine giving birth,” she muttered, poking around the last bits of food on her plate. “Sure, it’s the miracle of life and all, but -- it just seems so awful in every way.”

Lin grimaced at the mere idea. She had pulled out the day’s newspaper and flipped through it on the table. “Good thing we’re both well past that particular stage of life. I can’t even picture myself as a parent. Sounds like hell.”

Kya propped her chin up on her hand, elbow on the table, and gazed out the window. “I’m sure a younger version of me would have loved to have a couple little ones running around.”

“Really? That surprises me a bit.”

She shrugged. “A different version of me,” she repeated. “In a different life, maybe. A nice house with you and a couple kids? Maybe some animals? It sounds nice in a way, doesn’t it?”

Lin gave her a quizzical look. “A very different version of you, it would seem.”

“What do you mean? There are dozens of different ways our lives could have changed when we were younger.”

“Sure. You’ve just never seen too big on family-building.” 

Kya sat back in her chair and crossed her arms. “Well, it’s complicated. I did do a lot of soul-searching back in the day.”

Lin raised her eyebrows. “Enough for a few souls, I’m sure.”

Kya chewed on her lip. She didn’t want it to, but the comment hit a nerve somewhere. “At least I went somewhere. I did something with myself.”

“It’s just fascinating to me how you prioritize family now,” Lin said, motioning around their shared apartment. It was clear in her eyes that she was trying hard to rationalize her partner’s thoughts. A woman who had hit the road at age twenty-five and refused to settle down, no matter how many times Lin wanted her to. “You never seemed to care about that thirty years ago.”

Kya lowered her hands to the table, thumbs between her fingers defensively. “People change,” she said quietly. “It wasn’t so easy when I was younger.” She wondered when the conversation about labor complications had made her feel so uncomfortable.

Lin nodded. “Tell me about it.”

A bubble of frustration rose in Kya’s throat. “It’s different for me, Lin.” Her words came out harsher than she intended.

Lin looked up at her, alarm evident in her eyes. “I didn’t mean to upset you, Kya. I just didn’t understand what you were saying.”

“You had a job when you were twenty-whatever,” Kya went on. “Your future was guaranteed for you. That’s pretty fucking lucky.”

“You worked too, honey.” Lin’s voice was still relaxed. It was a strange dynamic. “And your family had every opportunity. They loved you. They would have done anything for you to go to school or build a career. You were the Avatar’s kid.”

Kya shook her head. “That’s what it looked like to you. Your family supported you regardless. I struggled just to be heard when I spoke. It wasn’t that easy. Ever.”

“So what, you ran away?” Lin tossed the newspaper closed, the assertive nature of her personality winning over. “Threw away any chance to connect with them? That doesn’t sound much like prioritizing your family to me. It sounds like you couldn’t wait to leave them behind.”

There was moisture stinging Kya’s eyes now. Something inside her wouldn’t let her calmly resolve the argument. Her heart thudded and she closed her eyes but saw everything she didn’t want to remember. She rarely raised her voice at anyone, especially Lin, and it was a terrible feeling in her throat. “It wasn’t that simple, Lin,” she insisted. “You have no idea what it felt like for me as a kid. You have no idea why I left.”

“It’s not hard to figure out. You would rather go off on your own than put the effort into making things work at home. You aren’t the only one who struggled with family issues growing up. At least I didn’t go running off.” The last sentence came out before Lin had thought it through.

Suppressed rage had surfaced in Kya’s eyes, threatening to pour tears down her cheeks. Her fists were clenched on the table. Before she could start shouting, she took a breath and said, “I’m going to bed,” voice wavering. 

Lin sighed and tried to reach across the table to her. “Kya, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean --”

“No,” she said, slamming a fist down on her knee. “I can’t listen to you shit all over how I’ve coped with my life.” 

Pulling her hands back, Lin set her elbows on the table and clasped her hands in front of her face.

Kya opened her mouth as if to speak again, but quickly shot up out of the chair and retreated to the bedroom, head lowered. Her hand was on her mouth as she shut the door behind herself. She didn’t want Lin to hear the tears she choked down. 

She sat against the door and listened to Lin clean up the kitchen. Kya’s mind tugged her towards the woman in the other room, but the knot in her chest kept her in place, chin trembling. She couldn’t face Lin again amidst the memories swirling through her body.

After stripping off her clothes, Kya crawled into bed and pulled the covers up to her nose. She turned her back to the bedroom door.

She kept her eyes open; each time she blinked she saw white mist and flashes of terror, angry voices, hard silence. Her own rage. A tense dinner party, days alone, a shower that stung.

It could have been minutes or hours until Lin came into the room quietly and sat on the end of the bed. The silence indicated her own internal debate -- whether or not to speak to the woman huddled in the corner. Finally, she slipped under the sheets and switched off the light.

Kya hadn’t meant to fall asleep. She knew what waited for her in her subconscious. The visions of the fog and the sense of unease that slowly crept through her was as palpable as it was when it happened, forcing her back into the worst of her own memories.

\-------------------

“You don’t know that,” Katara had said when Kya shared the deepest secret she had. “How are you meant to know all of this at your age?”

“We love you, Kya.” Aang’s voice had been cool and calm, as always, but concern flashed in his eyes. “But this will be difficult to discuss with the rest of the family.”

Tenzin had leaned against her bedroom door frame and said, “Mom told me about what you said. That’s quite the choice to make. How will it reflect on Dad if people find out?”

Selfishness was all it was, according to those closest to her. Authenticity became tense and shameful, never explicitly, but it was shown through every side-glance how her identity was perceived. Her parents would sit around her at breakfast and remain so silent her ears hurt.

“Why do you need to be so different?” is all she heard. As if she could choose to change. “You’re the Avatar’s daughter. Isn’t that enough?”

The Avatar’s daughter. Blessed to be. Recognized on the street. “Aren’t you Avatar Aang’s kid?” Cursed to have no name. Never asked questions at parties. Mindlessly swirling her spiked drink around in a glass while her little brother was fawned over by the finest bootlickers the city could offer. 

Kya did everything imaginable to feel a connection to anything at all. Be it pain or fear or terrifying adrenaline, she took to it, even if it had the lasting effects that healer after healer warned her of. Even if it meant seeing absolute horror in her mother’s eyes from time to time.

She had no family. No connections. No one who she could confidently say would be there for her. Not a single soul who would hear her crying at night, window wide open, little drops of blood and tears staining her sheets. At meals, all she saw were indifferent strangers sitting around a table, tuned in with each other, but never with the queer, talentless, psych-ward-patient-in-the-making.

Even after years -- decades -- making amends and reconciling with them, even when she felt loved and cherished, she couldn’t shake the darkest parts of it. The worst memories stayed. Her fears held tight enough to come back, as if they had never left.

\-------------------

Kya awoke at dawn. She squeezed her eyes shut again at the memory of her dreams and cried silently into her pillow. 

She knew when Lin was awake and felt her weight shift off the bed. The door creaked open when Lin’s presence was gone from the room. Kya wanted nothing more than to run to her and cry and tell her about everything she had been too afraid to mention the night before. Instead, she just sighed and let herself shake with her coursing anxiety, cursing herself for how childish she felt.

Minutes later, Lin returned to the room and stepped into Kya’s line of sight, placing a glass of water on her nightstand before climbing back into bed, sitting up against the headboard. Kya was alarmed at her calm presence.

Eventually, Lin’s quiet voice cut through the heavy silence. “I’m sorry, Kya. I shouldn’t have said any of those things to you last night. I had no idea how sensitive of a topic it is for you.”

Kya somehow managed to pull herself up to sit, still turned away from her lover. She took a deep breath. Lin’s hand came to rest palm-up on Kya’s knee. Still shaking, Kya grasped it tight, even though she felt like a pathetic child being coaxed out of her fear.

“I’d like to talk about it with you, if you’re okay to,” said Lin softly. “I was so worried when I heard you crying this morning. I can tell there’s -- there’s a lot to unpack here.”

Kya wiped her nose on the back of her other hand and turned closer to the other woman. “I shouldn’t have shouted at you,” she said, voice cracking.

Lin’s heart sank. “Kya, please don’t apologize to me. I just want to know what was going on in your head. That’s all.”

“I don’t know how to talk about it.” Kya sighed. “I just want you to know why it’s been so hard for me to prioritize family, because for so much of my life I felt like I was in a family that didn’t prioritize me.”

Lin nodded in understanding, giving Kya’s hand a gentle squeeze.

“Everything was hard for me when I was a kid,” said Kya slowly, waiting to see what her body’s reaction was to the information she was sharing. “I was the Avatar’s child, but — I never felt like I belonged with my parents. I was always a burden in one way or another. At least —” She lowered her head and brushed her thumb over Lin’s knuckles, “At least that’s how it felt.” 

“Kya --” 

“That’s how it was,” Kya insisted. “I don’t need to hear about how they all loved me anyway. I know they did, and it’s better now, but --” Her voice trailed off. 

“But that doesn’t make up for how much it hurt back then,” Lin whispered. She heaved a heavy sigh and looked up to see the tears returning to Kya’s eyes. “Is that what you saw in the fog?”

Kya rubbed her hand over her face to keep her lip from quivering. “Yeah. I had forgotten about most of it. I guess the fog just brought it back.” 

The thought alone was enough to make Lin’s stomach turn -- the image of Kya alone and frightened activated her protective instincts. Shaking her head, Lin said, “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said any of that to you last night. I’m here to listen if you want to talk about anything else.”

Instead of speaking, Kya released Lin’s hand and scooted towards her, situating herself in Lin’s lap to slip her arms around her partner’s waist. Her head came down to rest on Lin’s shoulder. “Thank you for letting me talk, honey. I know there’s always a lot going on in my head.”

“Hey, don’t you worry about that for a second.” Lin tightened her arms around Kya, wishing she could squeeze all the pain and anger out of her and banish it into space. “Life is complicated. We all have rough shit to deal with. I love you, and that includes everything that’s not so pretty.”

Despite the droplets lingering on Kya’s cheeks, she smiled. Some of the swirling darkness in her chest had begun to disperse. “I love you, too. I love being here with you. My relationship with my family was difficult before, but I’m so happy for you to be part of it now.” 

“Me too,” Lin said, pressing a kiss to Kya’s temple. The previous night had felt empty and barren with their lack of physical contact -- no hand-holding, not a single kiss before they had fallen asleep, and it was abnormal. After a good few minutes of soothingly rubbing circles in Kya’s back, Lin asked, “How about we get some breakfast? Maybe it’ll help you feel a bit better.”

“Yeah. I’d like that.”

“I’ll go make some coffee.” Lin carefully stood from the bed and pointed at the glass of water she had placed on Kya’s nightstand. “Drink that. You must be dehydrated as all hell, with all that crying.”

Kya smiled and watched her slip out the door to the other room. She let the water cool any remaining stinging inside her, thinking she wouldn’t rather be anywhere else to process her thoughts. Another deep breath calmed her anxiety before she shakily stood to follow Lin into the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually seriously debated whether or not to post this, because it had me feeling weird for a while after writing it, but I was pretty proud of it anyway. I also considered posting it on its own, but I think I'm okay with having larger, heavier pieces compiled in here. I hope y'all liked this one despite how heavy it was. Let me know your thoughts :)


	4. Arms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The song "Arms" by The Paper Kites reminds me so much of Kya and Lin... I just had to write a little story inspired by it. This is set a //few// months after Book 3, and Lin is having a particularly rough time managing what the past months have been like. She and Kya have to make some decisions about their relationship. Rated T.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Parts of this were inspired by a prompt I found on Tumblr! It took me a while to figure out how I wanted this on to flow... but I think I like it :)

“Well, I think it’s time for us to be getting to bed.” Pema ushered Meelo out of his chair and looked over to the girl playing with a spirit across the dark yard. “Come on, Ikki. It’s late.” Pema looked over at Kya and Lin, still sitting around the firepit. “Have a good night, ladies. It's been nice to catch up a little."

"Of course, Pema," said Kya. "Have a good night."

Ikki trotted up beside Kya’s chair and asked, “Will you come say goodnight before you go to bed?”

Smiling at her niece, Kya told her, “Of course, sweetie. Go ahead and get to sleep, though, okay?”

“Mm-hmm.” Ikki followed her mother and brother back inside.

Still smiling to herself, Kya leaned forward to jab a long stick into the fire. “She gets a lot of nightmares,” she told Lin. “She has a lot of anxiety about the whole fight at the air temple.”

“Really?” Lin played along with the conversation. Of course the kid was a bit messed up in the head -- they all must have been. As she thought about it, she stared into the flames and a small pang in her heart almost made her roll her eyes.

“Yeah. Something about seeing Bumi and I all fucked up, it really did a number on her.”

“She really loves you,” Lin said quietly. She couldn’t help the small grin that crept onto her face. Unintentional. Kya noticed.

“You know,” Kya started, “I’ve wondered -- and maybe I’m full of shit, but -- I’ve wondered if maybe that could be some of what’s going on with you, too?”

Lin shifted in the big wooden lawn chair she sat in. She had been waiting for Kya to bring up such an issue. “I don’t know,” was all she said. The right combination of words wouldn’t come to her.

Kya nodded, looking back to the fire. When she had invited Lin over to the island for dinner that night, she’d hoped it would help rekindle something that had died in the previous weeks. Voicemails and Lin’s flimsy excuses could only hold up for so long. Kya had waltzed into Lin’s apartment that morning to realize it mustn’t have been simple disinterest that had caused Lin’s absence from their relationship. The unwashed dishes in the sink and unfolded, wrinkled laundry told her that. The bookshelf that Lin usually kept pristine had the thinnest layer of dust that told some pathetic story of demotivation.

It had been two weeks since they had really seen each other. Kya had visited Lin to insist that she stop playing with her feelings and just end things if that’s what she really wanted. Instead, she left after offering the invitation to the island with her heart aching for a different reason. 

Sighing, Kya looked around the dark corner of the island where they were sitting and said, “Listen, Lin. I don’t need any kind of perfection from you, in any way.” She looked over to the woman next to her to check for her reaction. “I don’t want you to be perfect. You’re too obsessed with perfection as it is.”

Lin was still fixated on the fire, emotionless. 

“I want you to be happy, above anything else,” Kya continued. “Even if I’m not in your life, I just want you to be happy, and it would really seem like you aren’t.”

Listening to Kya hit the nail on the head over and over sent Lin back in time. Back to weeks before, back to the air temple, back to the first night the two of them spent together while Lin helped Kya “heal.” Even as far as years ago, remembering every person who helped prove that she wasn’t ever quite good enough for anyone. The combination of the past months’ memories and those buried even deeper just made each day feel strange and uncomfortable. 

“Things are difficult,” Lin managed to say to Kya. Her willingness to speak was already stopping up. “It’s all hard to process.”

“For sure,” Kya said. “I just -- I’d like to know what happened with you all of a sudden.”

Lin shot her a look. “What do you mean?”

“Not answering my calls, suddenly being busy any time I stop by? You weren’t doing this three months ago.” She paused. The big sweater she had thrown on to combat the fall evening air drooped down her shoulder when she sat up. “I want you to be real with me. If you don’t want to keep going with this,” she motioned between herself and the other woman, “please just tell me. Don’t make it -- Don’t make it feel like this.”

Lin could have broken down right in front of her. The honesty in Kya’s voice made the guilt of concealing her own feelings even worse. She could have gotten up and left without a word, just left Kya alone and avoid the stress of confrontation. But Kya was worth more than that. 

With a breath, Lin said, “There’s no excuse. And you deserve someone better than this.”

“What?” Kya scooted to the edge of her chair. “Lin, I don’t want someone ‘better’ than you. Don’t consign yourself to ‘better’ or ‘worse’ like you’re -- like you’re damaged, or something.”

_But I am. _She didn’t dare say it. “I haven’t been myself,” Lin admitted, crossing her arms. “Is that what you want to hear? I’ve felt like shit and every time you call I want to pick up and talk to you forever but something convinces me that I’m just wasting your time.”__

__Kya managed to appear completely shattered and relieved at the same time. She shook her head slowly and shut her eyes. “Okay. You’re struggling with everything that’s happened recently. I don’t want you to feel bad for that, we’re all coping with things in our own way.”_ _

__“But I shouldn’t have made you feel like that.” Lin wanted to sink further and further into her seat and disappear into the earth. Never deal with hurting herself or anyone else again. “It’s not an excuse.”_ _

__“Maybe not,” said Kya. “But it does make things make sense.”_ _

__“I want you in my life,” said Lin. Her voice shook despite her confidence in the statement. “I do. I want you with me every night and I don’t want my shit to get in the way.” She didn’t realize she was clutching at the sleeves of her shirt, desperate to hold onto something._ _

__Kya took a second to let the moment linger. She stood from her chair and leaned over to kiss Lin’s temple, hoping to level out a bit of her anxiety. “I want to work with you on it, honey. I don’t want you to think that your struggles make you unloveable.”_ _

__Reaching up to take hold of Kya’s hand, Lin guided her down beside her to sit in the slightly-reclined lawn chair. “Can I just hold you here for a bit?” she asked Kya._ _

__Kya settled along the other woman’s body, finding a perfect place for her head on Lin’s chest. “Of course, love.”_ _

__Lin tightened her arms around Kya and focused in on the feeling of Kya’s breath on her neck. She was warm and soft and real, perfect to combat the chilly air. Perfect and firm against the trembling in Lin’s chest. The past months didn’t feel so frightening with her there. She could gaze down at Kya’s face, soft skin lightly illuminated by the remnants of the fire, beautiful and gentle and honest. Her slender hand sat protectively over Lin’s heart. An accidental and sweet metaphor._ _

__Somewhere above them, millions of miles past the city, far from Earth, a comet chose that very moment to shoot by and leave a quick trail of white in the dark sky. A cosmic phenomenon that decided to present itself perfectly._ _

__At the same time, both women watching took advantage of the shooting star. Individually, they each shut their eyes just for a second and wished to be with the other forever, to cherish each other and offer as much support as possible. The moment went unmentioned between them._ _

__Opening her eyes again, Lin said, “Things will all be okay. And I want to be okay with you.”_ _

__Kya looked up at her. “Me too. And we can work it out together, right?”_ _

__“Yeah.” Lin kissed Kya’s forehead a few times just to savor the feeling. For the time being, she was happy just to have Kya close to her. To offer her the comfort of an embrace, if nothing else. “Yeah, we can.”_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what y'all thought of this one! All the comments are genuinely so helpful and encouraging. Thank you so much for reading :)


	5. All I Want

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the Red Lotus defeated, Kya is headed back to the Southern Water Tribe. Both Lin and Kya find it difficult to cope with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is Rated M, for some mildly suggestive parts, but absolutely nothing explicit. It’s also kinda sad... sorry.

Something about the events surrounding the fight against the Red Lotus had caused Lin to soften, particularly with her injured girlfriend. Kya managed to recover quickly from the fall that should have killed her. Of course, that didn’t keep Lin from sneaking into her room on the island every night to “make sure she slept well.” What Lin wouldn’t tell her was how crucial it was that she could feel Kya’s heartbeat, hear her breathe, steady and real. 

Like all good things, their relaxed time in the city together had to end. Korra was heading back to the South soon and Kya was accompanying her, giving in to Katara’s maternal anxiety more than anything. Kya had insisted it was what she wanted. Either to quell Lin’s worry or her own, she wasn’t sure. 

There was a big, exciting dinner on the island the night before the ship was to leave for the water tribe. Lovely food that Kya helped Pema prepare and many wine-aided toasts made over and over. It was a strange gathering. Sweet for sure, and necessary -- it would have seemed downright wrong to let Korra go back home without some sort of ceremony. But when Lin and Kya sat beside each other listening to Tenzin make yet another tearful speech about the Avatar’s bravery, they offered various side-glances and tentative hand-squeezes underneath the table. 

When the energy died down, Lin took the very first available moment to extricate herself from the group. She set her hand on Kya’s lower back for approximately six seconds, the hard-and-fast signal for _I’m going to the bedroom and I would really like it if you could join me as soon as possible_. This time, it was clearly a request of comfort rather than passion.

Kya’s heart had been aching for days. Her own injuries had just healed, but she still saw the effects of the violence and trauma on every face around the island. No matter how many jokes Bolin made or how many times Jinora made a point of smiling through every minute, no one was comfortable. And the fact that she would be leaving Lin in the city indefinitely didn’t help Kya feel any better.

After slipping into Ikki’s room to offer a (very long) hug goodnight, Kya descended the hallway down to her own room. Opening the door, she found Lin sitting up on the windowsill, watching the city across the bay. She had loosely tied up her hair in a messy little ponytail, something she would only ever do when alone. Kya insisted she looked cute with her hair up -- Lin said it made her come off as too casual.

“You okay?” Kya asked quietly while she slipped off her shoes. 

A sigh and a shrug was all she got.

Kya climbed up onto the windowsill beside Lin. “Talk to me,” said Kya. “I think I know what’s on your mind, but I want to hear what you’re thinking.”

Lin shook her head. A few loose strands of hair swayed beside her ear. Tiny blades of frustration glinted in her eyes. “Everything’s all fucked up.”

Resisting the urge to smile at her partner’s bluntness, Kya said, “That it is.” As solid as she was in her decision to return to the south, it pained her to know the impact it would have on Lin’s life.

“I’m tired,” Lin said as her posture fell. She didn’t have the energy to be angry. “I’m so tired and I don’t know how to manage it.” She looked down at where the ground met the building outside the window. “Not alone, at least.”

Kya leaned to drape an arm around Lin’s shoulders and kiss her cheek. “I know, sweetie. It’s gonna be a tough adjustment for all of us.”

Lin practically shuddered at the physical contact. 

“But you’ll be alright,” Kya added. It was almost a question. An uncertainty. “And I’ll be back.” That, she was sure of. 

“Yeah.” Lin took a breath. She turned her head to meet Kya’s eyes, glimmering as always, watching as they came closer until their lips met. Their foreheads rested against each other and Lin repeated, “Yeah.”

Kya grinned at her. “Come here.” Hands on Lin’s jaw, she kissed the younger woman again, with more want, more heat. As much sincerity as possible. 

Kya had Lin pinned beneath her in bed soon after, making a point of kissing as much love and devotion into her skin as she could. If there was some way she could get Lin to remember those things by making love to her with distinct intent, she would do it forever. 

She savored the feeling of Lin’s mouth on her face and neck, her wandering hands drifting, the soft noises she made when Kya brought their lips back together. When they disconnected to let Lin’s shirt come off, Kya smiled down at her before kissing her forehead, her nose, the scars crossing her cheek. 

She stopped to inhale the dancing emerald smell in Lin’s hair. “Mm, baby,” she sighed, “You’re so beautiful.”

Lin had to kiss her again to hide the reddening of her cheeks. She let herself get lost in her lover. Their clothes were quickly scattered around the floor.

They willingly drowned in each other, voices and hands and kisses flowing through their bodies. It all became nothing but pure bliss and divine touch. An exchange of hands and fingers across and in and out and everywhere, hot lips covering and uncovering every inch of skin, all hungry hands and wet tongues and buckling knees. The need to touch and be touched in every place was satiated easily, by raw expressions of love. A gorgeous meld of pleasure and adoration.

They laid in bed together after their energy wore down. Lin gathered Kya in to hold her, focused in on the feeling of their skin pressed against skin, all warm and pulsing with happy exhaustion.

Kya hummed against Lin’s neck. It didn’t feel right to say anything then, almost like the emotional state of the room would be better preserved with silence. The quiet was prominent. They let it stay. 

A few minutes passed peacefully before Kya felt Lin choke on something, some lump of despair that she was determined to shove deep down. She clearly felt the need to be firm and unyielding for the woman she held.

Kya inhaled deeply and shifted herself up so her face laid on the pillow next to Lin’s. She set a hand on the woman’s cheek. Deep ocean eyes and the little lines of compassion beside them wordlessly extended permission for Lin to fall apart. In a moment, she did.

Lin pulled Kya in tight, hand on the back of her head, tears flowing into soft silver hair. She let herself cry like she hadn’t in months, trying to bring her lover in closer and closer. As if Kya might stay there forever if she was held just the right way.

Kya let her tears fall silently. She threaded kisses across Lin’s neck and jaw, salt and water seeping past her lips. Kya’s arms grasped Lin’s trembling body firmly. Letting Lin know she was there, still with her for a little longer, still there to hold her together. Kya circled her fingers on the bare skin of Lin's back. Her heart cracked at the sounds of her partner crying. She murmured, “I know. I’m here,” over and over. Trying to offer some futile effort of understanding. 

“I don’t know how to let you go,” Lin whispered through a broken voice. The time she had spent with Kya was nothing short of pure magic -- love, support, and warmth she hadn’t felt for years. She wanted to be there with Kya forever, be able to hold her and admire her in spite of the world. Be protected by her lovely voice and soft skin. _How do I do this without you to keep me safe?_

Face buried in Lin’s neck again, Kya swallowed and said, “I’ll come back to you, love. I always will.”

“I know.” Lin’s mind was somewhere terrifying. An awful world in which the reconnection between the two of them had never happened, ruined by a phone call or a schedule shift or a shower. A world that saw Lin attending funeral after funeral rather than lying in bed with her lover, instead horrifically mourning the loss of the one woman who made her feel like life was worth it. Lin choked again. She squeezed Kya tighter. “I love you, Kya. I love you so much.”

The rawness in Lin’s voice almost sent Kya over the edge as well. “I love you too, Lin. I’ll come back. I will. I promise we’ll be together again. In time.”

Lin cupped Kya’s face with her hand. She kissed her forehead and said, “That’s all I want. I want to be safe with you.”

Kya managed to pull herself up on her elbow. Love surged through her as she pressed her face against Lin’s. “Then that’s how it’ll be,” she said. Her smile twitched at the corners of her mouth. But it was true and real and as honest as anything. “That’s how it’ll be.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I’m still unsure of how long this little collection of stories will be, but I’m just kind of feeling it out as it goes! I hope y’all are enjoying reading it :)


	6. Easy To Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a sequel to the last one-shot I posted! Lin goes to the Water Tribe with Tenzin when he goes to visit Korra, seeing Kya again after months. AKA: 1500 words of Lin being Soft™ for Kya. I figured y'all could use a break from the angsty shit (I could also use a break from writing it). Rated T.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this one got me feeling all warm and fuzzy... this is maybe the fluffiest shit I've ever written. Whatever. Enjoy.

Tenzin didn’t ask why Lin wanted to accompany him to the Southern Water Tribe. He didn’t need to; he saw the lingering glances and loving touches exchanged between his sister and ex-girlfriend when they were together in the city. As conflicted as it made him feel, he willingly agreed to bring Lin along to the south when he went to visit Korra (with a couple of nudges from Pema, of course). 

Up until they landed at the South Pole, Lin had been trying to let it sink in that she was hours, minutes, seconds away from seeing Kya again. Seven months of sending letters and making expensive phone calls had been draining and stressful, leaving both women sad and lonely at the best of times. 

But those seven months felt insignificant when Lin slid down from Oogi’s saddle and was instantly lifted into Kya’s arms. Bystanders and family members tried to avert their gaze. Tears pricked the corners of their eyes as the two women held each other for the first time in far too long, happily exchanging warm smells and wide smiles. 

\------------

“I hope staying in is okay with you.” Kya stood by the stovetop and stirred something in a pan. “I figured you’d be pretty out of it after the trip down here.”

Lin smiled as she crossed the room to come stand behind her. “Sure. Anything is great, really.” She was honestly glad that they weren’t going out to some crowded Water Tribe bar. Besides, it seemed right to spend their first evening back together in a nice, quiet place, with only the other for company. Lost in thought, her hands landed softly on Kya’s hips. She landed a kiss on Kya’s neck. Then another. The feeling of her skin was so familiar. Comforting. 

“Slow down, tiger-cat,” Kya joked, turning to set dishes on the kitchen table. She gave a suggestive look from Lin’s lips to her eyes. “At least buy me a drink first.” That smirk. _Damn._

They sat at opposite ends of the table while they ate, resisting the urge to loop their fingers atop the tablecloth. Managing to move past the small talk of police work and standard Water Tribe day-to-day life, Lin asked, “How has it been working with Korra the last couple months?” She had heard about the Avatar’s frustrating progress.

“She’s getting there,” Kya said with the higher voice she tended to use when she wasn’t totally sure of something. 

“Is she?”

Kya nodded. “Yeah, she is. It’s complicated, though. It’s clearly so much more than just the walking or the fighting, and -- and that’s what makes it difficult.” There was a tone of despair in Kya’s voice that indicated this was more than just communicating Korra’s struggles.

Lin had never been excellent at conversational cues, but she had become so tuned-in to Kya’s mannerisms that she had to say, “Tell me about it. I’m sure it is complicated.”

“Well, we all know she’s always been more… physical about things, than anything else.” Kya rubbed at her arms. “I’ve tried to talk to her about what she’s feeling, but she’s almost more stubborn than you are.”

Lin smiled to herself. “Shit.”

“It’s just been hard to keep things on the right track,” said Kya. “And I think I do see some of myself in her. Strange as it sounds.”

The similarities weren’t hard to see, Lin thought. Both her girlfriend and the young Avatar were rather plagued by their sensitivity and devotion to making sure others were comfortable. Helpful to an extent, until it became exhausting. It surely had impacted them both recently.

Lin reached over the table to take Kya’s hand. Offering comfort wasn’t her forte, but she had a repertoire of small actions that let Kya know she was paying attention. “I’m sure Korra appreciates it,” said Lin. “She might be resistant, but she knows when people try to help her.”

Kya gave Lin’s hand a squeeze and flashed her a smile before getting up to carry plates to the counter. She said, “I don’t know how I ever dealt with shit without you here.” It was a joke, but it reminded both of them how many lonely mornings and empty nights they had spent by themselves over the last seven months. Watching Kya’s hands move in the sink, her hair falling in waves down her shoulder, Lin realized she was staring. Her face felt hot.

She had to feel Kya close to her to ensure she wasn’t stuck in some ridiculous dream. Her arms looped around Kya’s waist. Lin inhaled deep, happily dosing herself with that sweet scent clinging to Kya’s skin. She sighed in contentment. 

“You gettin’ soft on me, Beifong?” Kya laughed, but welcomed the kiss Lin offered.

“Perhaps,” said Lin. Her need for her typical hard exterior began to fall away as soon as she was alone with Kya. No need to be harsh or unyielding. Nothing about the sweet waterbender required Lin to maintain any tough shell. Kya had worked hard to prove to Lin that she could be safe and let her guard down when they were together, and it was certainly a work in progress.

Kya closed her eyes to appreciate Lin’s touch, slowly swaying her hips to the lilting music coming from the radio. Turning to position her hands dominantly around Lin’s waist, she smiled and said, “Dance with me.”

Lin pulled her head back suddenly. Her eyes were inquisitive. 

Slender, tan hands gathered Lin’s and moved them to sit around Kya’s neck before returning her own to the smooth skin over the muscles around Lin’s backbone. “Just dance with me for a minute.” 

Kya’s sparkling eyes soothed Lin into softening around her lover’s touch. She looked Kya up and down as she moved slowly along the romantic rhythm of the music.

“I don’t know how to dance,” Lin said, like a kid who needed a reason to get out playing sports. 

“Nobody’s watching,” said Kya, chuckling at Lin’s awkward nature. “I think you’re doing great. Just go with it.” Kya pulled her in closer, hands firm, and tenderly kissed Lin’s forehead. “Just go with it.”

Lin took a breath and reminded herself of where her hands were, draped around Kya’s neck, fingers nestled among silky silver hair. She instinctively pulled Kya in closer, yearning for that tingle of warm breath against her cheek. Lin fell into the smooth musical rhythm that Kya had set. She did more than mirror the waterbender’s movements, instead fully connecting, melding into Kya’s being for the first time in far too long. 

“See?” Kya set her face gently against Lin’s. “You got it.” 

The way that Kya naturally touched her was nothing short of magic. The way she knew just where and how to set her hands, gently easing Lin into a state of calm, letting her forget her thoughts for a little while. Her past didn’t matter, her job had no implications, the rough way that she interacted with the world wasn’t necessary. Lin leaned in to rest her cheek on Kya’s shoulder. _Finally._

\------------

Later in the night, after talking about everything and nothing, the two of them laid on the hide-covered couch together, listening to obscure radio stories. The sky had grown dark hours ago. The only light in the room was the table lamp in the corner. Lin and Kya had individually resisted the urge to go to bed, convincing themselves to enjoy the most time awake as possible for the week that Lin was in the south. The most time to consciously enjoy each other’s presence.

Even so, Lin looked down at Kya lying against her, half-asleep, dark arms around her waist and head on her chest. Lin’s heart swelled as Kya adjusted slightly. She made a soft noise that caused Lin’s heart to absolutely dissolve.

No time had ever passed, if Lin focused hard enough. They were still together every day, she thought. Still young, still unhindered by strange and terrifying memories. Lin shook the mile-deep thoughts from her mind and turned her attention back to the woman she held. So gorgeous, so sweet, so gentle and perfect to love. Easy to love. Lin counted herself the luckiest woman alive.

With a sigh, Kya shifted again and grinned up at her sleepily. They just stared lovingly for a moment before Kya shook her head and said, “Spirits, Lin. You are so fucking whipped.”

Despite the characteristic jest, Lin couldn’t help but tighten her arms around Kya, leaning down to kiss the top of her head. “Always for you, love.”

Letting her eyes flicker shut again, Kya smiled. She turned her head to press a kiss to the spot where Lin’s chest met her collarbone, before sinking into blissful sleep. The touch of her lips offered gratefulness, saying, _I love you. Thank you for being here._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all liked this one! Let me know your thoughts and as always, thank you for reading :)


	7. We're Okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set after Book 4, Kya suffers a bad dream about Kuvira's attack on the city. Some disturbing imagery/blood/violence but also some soft Lin. Once again trying to give Kya the Angsty Content™ she deserves to have. Rated M.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't intend for parts of this to come out so intense, it just happened. If blood, violence, death and such don't sit well with you, perhaps give this one a pass. Or don't, I can't tell you what to do. I've also realized that literally all of these chapters are angsty hurt/comfort stuff... but hey, I like writing it and it would seem folks like reading it. I hope y'all enjoy!

_ Kya’s feet wouldn’t move. The soles of her shoes remained tethered to the street’s asphalt, holding her down tight. Looking around in confusion, a deafening noise shot through her head and her face went hot. Somewhere far too close, an apartment was struck and demolished by a beam of violet light, scattering bricks and dust, sending panic through Kya’s chest.  _ Lin,  _ she thought.  _ Where is she?

_ A siren sounded somewhere in the distance and Kya turned her head, scanning her eyes for a sign of anyone else. Burning rubble littered the street. Kya opened her mouth to shout Lin’s name but all that came was a shooting pain in her throat and stomach, persisting until a thick stream of blood spewed from her lips, slithering down her neck, into her dress, sprouting bright purple flowers down her front.  _

_ Ignoring the sickness swirling around under her ribs, Kya’s eyes located something that didn’t help the feeling. A body, lying awkwardly atop a busted chunk of concrete, neck crooked at a fatal angle. Curls of grey hair were soaked in a pool of blood. The slick crimson coated the torso of shining metal armor. Pale green eyes hung open and unseeing. _

No. _ Kya worried her heart would be next to come up out of her throat when she tried to scream at the sight of Lin’s lifeless body, horrifically real. She fell hard on her knees when she tried to run forward, praying that she might be able to find some water, find a pulse in the woman lying limp in the street. Big tears dripped from her eyelashes in her panic. When she fell, her knees and hands tumbled deep into hot puddles of her own blood that she desperately tried to bend away, only managing to form thick ropes that bound her to the ground, pulling, forcing her down and away from her lover, offering no sympathy to the way Kya tried to shout and fight. She shut her eyes tight. Her chest burned.  _ Wake up.

\------------

Kya’s eyes flew open. Her chest was heaving. The room seemed unnaturally dark as she felt around the bed, hands moving in a panic, heart dropping when she realized what wasn’t there. Sitting up, Kya threw off the blanket and searched the room frantically with her eyes. 

The nightmare was real, she thought. It must have been. She was alone in her bed. Her love was gone, certainly killed horribly, left to die alone, bleeding out somewhere. No warm body beside Kya. The fear was true, an entire daunting future came rushing towards her all at once -- no more warm kisses, no more laughing, no more quiet early mornings. Pulling her knees up to her chest, Kya set a shaking hand over her face and choked on flowing sobs.

A minute later, yellow light found its way through Kya’s eyelids. The room blurred into focus as she blinked. 

“Kya,” whispered a soft voice, “what happened?”

Kya managed to take in the image of Lin standing in the doorway, confusion and exhaustion evident on her face. Kya let out a strangled noise of relief and reached out to her, body still trembling too much to get up.

Lin settled on the bed with her quickly. “Honey, what’s wrong? What happened?”

Kya just shook her head while running her hands over Lin’s shoulders and neck and chest, searching for something, anything, any evidence of what her dream had convinced her was true.

_ Alive. _

Finding only the occasional occupational scar, Kya threw herself against the woman sitting in front of her. 

By now, Lin didn’t need to wonder what had caused Kya’s outburst. “Bad dream?” she asked, rubbing circles in her wife’s back. Such nightmares had been persistent in both women since Kuvira’s attack on the city. Lin had had her fair share of them, confronted with awful glimpses of the city on fire, bodies tumbling out of the sky, the distant sound of her sister’s screams ringing in her head. Lin had lost weeks worth of sleep to the memories -- it crushed her that Kya was forced to deal with it, too.

“It felt so real,” Kya insisted. “You were so hurt. You were gone. I couldn’t heal you.”

Lin swallowed down her own tears of empathy. “I’m right here,” she said. “I’m okay. Nothing is hurt, I promise. I was just in the kitchen getting some work done, that’s all.”

Kya nodded. As comforting as Lin’s arms were, she couldn’t shake the persistent images lingering in her mind -- blood scattered across the street, the dents and cuts in Lin’s armor, her eyes all pale and glazed over, lifeless. Gripping Lin’s shirt, Kya choked on a quiet wail and pressed her face into Lin’s neck. Searching for reassurance. 

“Hey, we’re okay,” Lin said. She carefully took Kya’s hand from her side and placed it on her own neck, allowing her to feel the steady pulse present beneath her skin. “Feel that? I’m okay. I’m right here with you.”

_ Alive.  _ Kya nodded again, relieved that Lin’s skin was unstained by blood or dirt, something not even guaranteed after she got home from work. Kya closed her eyes and counted the pulse she could feel.  _ One. Two. Three. Four. Alive. _ A deep breath finally found its way into Kya’s lungs.  _ Alive. Safe. _

“You’re okay,” Kya whispered, a comfort for herself. She slowly let her eyes open, relieved that Lin hadn’t disappeared in the last few seconds. Kya shook her head. “I’m sorry.”

Lin pulled her wife in for a tight embrace again, feeling the way that Kya’s forearms still shook. “It’s alright, love. I’m so sorry about the nightmares. I wish I could make them stop for you.” Lin ran her thumb back and forth across Kya’s temple, where her head rested on Lin’s shoulder. Kya’s tears still brought aching to Lin’s chest. How unfair, for the woman who hadn’t even been present for the catastrophe to be subjected to the horrors of its aftermath. 

“I don’t want to go back to sleep,” Kya murmured against Lin’s neck. She was sure the fear would bring it all back again.

“Do you want to come back to the living room with me?” asked Lin. “I’m sure there’s some ridiculous show on we could watch.”

Kya nodded. She wiped her nose on the back of her hand. “Yeah.” She followed Lin into the other room, clutching a blanket around her shoulders like a child. They sat together on the couch and turned on a late-night rerun of one of those awful shows Varrick had piloted a few years back. Lin finished up her work one-handed while Kya held the other, spending every few minutes focusing in on the warm, living flesh she could feel. Her churning anxiety had calmed to a dull pinch in the back of her throat. She had stopped shaking with Lin sitting beside her. It had sunk in that Lin was there with her, heart beating and eyes full of life like normal.  _ Alive. _ They would wake up in the morning together, like always. 

Kya quickly took advantage once Lin was finished with her paperwork, moving to rest her head in Lin’s lap. She pulled the blanket tight around herself. She was tired again, but couldn’t cope with falling asleep without contact from her wife. 

“Do you want to talk at all?” Lin asked Kya, rubbing her hand up and down the waterbender’s arm.

Kya made a noise suggesting a negative response. She was silent, and then, “Maybe tomorrow. I just want to stay close to you right now.” 

“Of course. I’m not going anywhere.” 

Wordlessly easing her off to sleep again, Lin ran her fingers over the loose hair around Kya’s forehead. She wished there was a way to ensure calm rest for the exhausted woman, something to banish any dark thoughts from haunting her, at least until the morning. All she could think to do was carefully carry her back to their room, ensuring she was comfortable in bed, offering her arms to give Kya a sense of safety, sealing it with a few forehead kisses. 

Lin waited until Kya’s lips parted in a new state of sleep to let herself drift off. Hopefully the remaining hours of the night could be more peaceful. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do they even have televisions in this universe? Who cares. Thank y'all for all your great comments, they're so so so helpful to me! Thank you so much for reading!!


	8. Pretty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kya convinces Lin to get a bit femme before they spend a day with the airkids. Rated G :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing emotionally taxing about this one (for once). Enjoy!

“Kya, you know this isn’t really my kind of thing.”

“Oh, it won’t hurt anything,” Kya said, smiling. She dutifully painted a deep forest green onto Lin’s fingernails. “Doesn’t that look so nice?” She grinned up at the other woman, pointing to the hand she had just finished.

Lin wouldn’t dare say anything that might make that smile go away, so she just rolled her eyes. Besides, having Kya hold her hand for a few minutes was a very nice feeling.

Kya’s touch was light as she returned to her work. “You could try black sometime,” she said. “Oh, or gold, wouldn’t that be nice?”

“Sure, Kya.” Lin appreciated how bright her voice sounded, how happy these concepts made her.

“You have that green dress, the one that twirls around? Wouldn’t that look so pretty with gold?”

Lin smiled and nodded. “Yes, it would.”

Kya glanced up at her as she tightened the cap back on the little nail polish bottle. “Sorry. I know you probably don’t care too much about this stuff.” 

“No,” Lin said immediately. She took Kya’s hand again, careful not to mess up the immaculate work she had just finished. “I like listening to you talk. You always sound happy when you talk about these things.”

“You’re so sweet.” Kya reached up to touch her partner’s face. Her gentle fingers stroked over her forehead and cheek until her eyes lit up and she asked, “Can I do your hair?”

After some hesitation, Lin said, “I don’t--”

“Come on,” Kya insisted. “We’re taking the kids out for the first time together, let me have some fun here. It’ll be nice.” She made the cute pouty face that she pulled to get her way. 

Lin looked her up and down for a moment before sighing. “Fine. I suppose I’ll let myself be cute for you.”

Kya smiled. She hugged Lin tight before getting up to pull her to the bathroom. 

Lin sat in front of the bathroom counter while Kya did whatever the hell with little brushes and hairpins. She mostly just watched Kya’s face in the mirror, appreciated her little smile, the way her eyes moved and displayed different levels of focus. The small things about her never failed to make Lin’s heart skip a beat, no matter how many times she had witnessed her little movements and habits. 

“Are you excited to see the kids?” Lin asked in the silence, distracting herself from getting too absorbed in her thoughts.

Kya grinned wider. “Yeah, I am. It’s been a couple weeks since we’ve all been together.” She shoved a bobby pin into place and added, “They’re excited to see you, too.”

Lin made a face. “Hmm. Interesting.”

“Don’t be like that, honey, they love you.”

“And I think you’ve been on the cactus juice again.”

“I’m serious.” Kya knelt on the floor and touched Lin’s cheek, encouraging eye contact. “You love to think that people don’t like you, but Tenzin’s kids really like having you around. They ask me about you all the time.”

Starting to understand that Kya wasn’t fucking with her, Lin’s eyes aimlessly moved towards the floor. “Oh.”

“Meelo thinks you’re some kind of… secret superhero or something. And Jinora really admires all the work you do for the city, she says the Air Nation wouldn’t be nearly so organized without everything you’ve done for them.”

Lin realized she was smiling a bit. “That’s sweet.”

“It is. And they’re all so happy to have you as a part of the family. Trust me.” Kya kissed her cheek and set a hand on Lin’s back, encouraging her to stand. “Look what I did, do you like it?”

In the mirror, Lin examined the little braids that met in a loose bun at the nape of her neck. Something she would never do herself, but she supposed that’s why she had Kya. She had never looked at her own face and thought  _ pretty _ (attractive, sure, but not pretty in the slightest), but something about the way Kya had done her up, with nice hair and painted nails, had made her feel a little closer to it.

She turned to the waterbender, who watched her expectantly. Lin pulled her in for a kiss and said, “I love it. Thank you, Kya.”

Kya’s excitement was evident in her eyes. “Anytime, love. Now, about that green dress…”

Lin laughed to herself and followed Kya into the bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all liked that fluffy lil piece. I love butch Lin just as much as the next guy, but I like the idea of Kya making her feel all cute, too. I'm thinking there'll be one more chapter of this before I call it finished, but I have a longer (very emotionally taxing) work in mind that I'll be starting up soon after I finish this one! Let me know what y'all thought about this and thanks for reading!


	9. Table of Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lin faces her first day of retirement and Kya helps her work through the reality of leaving the force. Rated T for light swearing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so first off -- I may have lied in the notes on the last chapter, there will be one more chapter after THIS one. I came up with the idea for this one very last-minute and decided I had to include it.

Lin spent her first day off the job alone at home. Kya had a long day of volunteering at the hospital and despite how she offered to stay home, Lin insisted that she go, that she “could use the day to catch up with herself.” Any kind of woo-woo sounding line like that always got Kya off her back. 

To be honest, retirement was already lonely. She hardly even liked calling it that. It sounded too formal, like it offered her too much grace. Like it praised her too much. It felt so final, so abrupt and decisive. She spent the day wandering around the house, going back to her uniform in the wardrobe just to look at it. The lumps of metal sitting on the bookshelves got their fair share of manipulation when she felt the need to bend  _ something. _

Kya brought her home dinner and a lovely bundle of gorgeous sunroses and panda-lilies, wrapped up with silky green ribbons. 

“Thank you, Kya.” Lin offered her a meager kiss in return. “How pretty.”

“It’s the least I could do for the hero of Republic City,” Kya said to her. “Did you have a good first day of freedom?”

Lin shrugged. “Sure. It was nice to sleep in.”

“My Lin? Sleeping in late?” Kya rolled her eyes in mock exasperation. “The world really has turned upside-down, hasn’t it?”

Lin opened up the paper bag of takeout.  _ Sure has. _

\--------------------

Kya awoke in the night to an empty bed and messy sheets. Sighing, she wondered if her workaholic of a wife had forgotten that she no longer needed to check in with radio signals at odd hours of the morning. Not that she ever actually  _ needed _ to in the first place.

Kicking off the blankets, Kya pulled a sheet around herself and opened the bedroom door to enter the living room quietly, blinking in the light coming from the kitchen. Sitting at the table, Lin had small photographs and slips of paper organized precisely in front of her. She had her arms crossed atop the smooth, lacquered wood. A few different indecipherable emotions were etched into her face with dull shadows on her skin from the stovetop light.

“Lin,” Kya whined, voice sleepy, “It’s the middle of the night.”

The earthbender only hummed in response. She still had her eyes trained on the things arranged on the table, a grey and white mosaic she had created.

Kya groaned before walking right up to her and setting a hand on her wife’s shoulder. “You don’t need to work anymore, remember?”

“Go back to sleep,” said Lin quietly. She had her fingers placed carefully in front of her lips. “I’ll be in in a minute.”

Kya tried to take in the images and papers Lin had set on the table. They weren’t what she expected, no maps or crime scene photos or arrest reports. Instead, Kya was surprised to observe pictures of Republic City police officers, signal operators, assistants and dispatchers and secretaries. Pictures from office parties, holiday gatherings, perhaps documenting some of the few times Lin had ever smiled in front of a camera, with arms around the shoulders of her colleagues. Eyes sparkling with gratitude or alcohol or both.

Mixed amongst the photos were papers torn off of notepads, thank-you cards, little crumpled slips of coffee-stained sticky notes. Some were marked with messy headlines, addressing  _ Chief Beifong _ directly, followed by scrawled sentences, some with distracted doodles, as if they were picked out of the trash after some long meeting.

Kya looked back at Lin and was astonished to catch the very slightest swells of tears in the woman’s eyes. Kya couldn’t help her little smile and she whispered, “Oh, honey.” 

“This is why I didn’t want to retire,” said Lin coldly. “It’s turned me into an emotional bitch.”

Pulling a chair up beside her, Kya draped her arm around Lin’s waist. “It’s so sweet, Lin. You care about all of them so much.”

With a heavy sigh, Lin murmured, “Yeah.”

Kya leaned in against her, offering a hand for Lin to take. She was still tired and her body disagreed with getting up, so she just sat in silence for a few minutes while mindlessly examining Lin’s tableau of memories. Seeing that Lin wasn’t anywhere near ready to leave the table, Kya lifted a photograph of a young officer and said, “Tell me about him.” Perhaps letting Lin get some thoughts out would help her mind ease itself.

Lin ran a finger against the fraying edge of the picture. “That’s Jian. He started… probably fifteen years ago, now. He can’t be older than twenty in that.” She took a breath. Carefully keeping her feelings in check. “He’s the Senior Manager in operations now. Absolutely brilliant, too.”

Kya nodded. She examined the boy’s young features, soft jawline and sweet, excited eyes. She could feel the warmth coming from Lin, radiating from her chest, and decided not to mention it. 

Kya pointed at another photo. “What about that one?”

Lin picked it up, fingertips trembling the slightest bit. “That was Nuwa’s Solstice party, a few years ago. She -- She had to leave, a couple of months after that. Some family issues in the northern Earth Kingdom.” Starting to soften, Lin rested her cheek on Kya’s head. “Strong as anything. She could kick everyone’s ass at arm wrestling.”

“Everyone?”

_"Everyone."_ Lin let a small grin slip out. She returned the picture to its spot on the table and tapped her finger lightly against the wood. She was emotionally tired, having all the memories flowing around her head. All of the kids she had helped to raise through their young adult years, colleagues she had visited in the hospital, officers she had encouraged through trauma therapies and watched rise through the ranks.

Seeing the love in her wife’s eyes, Kya brought a hand to Lin’s neck and kissed the soft skin just below her ear. “They’re always gonna love you, Lin. No way will anyone forget everything you’ve done for them.”

“I know. It’ll just… It’ll be an adjustment, not to see them every day.”

Wrapping the bedsheet around Lin’s shoulders, Kya whispered, “Sure, it will. It’ll be a big shift, but it’ll be so good for you. You can finally relax and actually get some rest, for once.”

“Right.” Lin managed to tear her eyes away from her table of memories and turned to kiss Kya’s forehead. “I love you, Kya. Thank you for letting me talk about all this at three in the morning.”

Smiling wide, Kya said, “Always, baby. I love you, too.” With a glance at the clock above the stove, she asked, “Do you think we could get back to bed? I know you don’t have anywhere to be, but I don’t think you’ll be too happy regardless if you don’t get enough sleep.”

“Yeah. You’re right.” She would come back to the happy remembrances later. She would find some way to pack them up, frame them on shelves, organize them safely in drawers. Happy things to revisit from time to time.

They both stood and Lin switched the light off, following Kya back into the cool darkness of the bedroom. The sheets were still warm. Lin realized just how exhausted she was, sinking gratefully into the mattress. She was drained from the entire process of the last few months.

Lin noted that it had never felt quite so peaceful to curl up in Kya’s arms. A sweet and familiar place to be, made even sweeter knowing that she had nowhere to be once the sun rose, able to linger beside her lover in bed as long as she wanted. Kya lovingly watched Lin slip into sleep with a soft smile on her lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! All the kudos and comments have been so, so helpful. Again, one more chapter after this (granted I don't get another sudden new idea)!


	10. Into The Air

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kya returns to Air Temple Island one evening to find something very unexpected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so glad this is the last one-shot in this entire story, because I'm really proud of it. I hope y'all enjoy it, too :) Rated T for a bit of swearing at the end.

Kya returned to the island after collecting things from the market for dinner. Tenzin’s family and the acolytes mostly ate out of the garden near the southside of the air temple, but since Kya and Bumi had (more or less) moved back to the city, they had brought multiple worldly cuisines with them that required some more adventurous shopping. Kya was glad to get off the island for a couple hours. As much as she loved and cherished her family -- hell, she  _ chose _ to live with them again -- it was tiring at times to remain confined within a few square miles every day.

She took the five o’clock ferry back from the mainland. At the dock, she noticed the RCPD speedboat that Lin and Mako used to get on and off the island. Kya furrowed her brow at it and wondered why Mako might be around. Korra, Asami, and Bolin were out on a visit to Korra’s parents in the South, what reason would the firebender have to take the boat out?

The thought that her wife would so much as consider visiting the island didn’t even cross Kya’s mind. She shrugged it off.

After crossing the courtyard back to the house, Kya set her basket of mangnuts and dragon-peppers on the kitchen counter, where Pema was washing up dishes from lunch. The back door was open and Ikki’s excited laughter floated in from the back garden.

“Good trip into the city?” Pema asked with a smile, removing the canvas bags from Kya’s basket.

“Sure. The weather is so nice, lots of folks are out and about.” 

Kya glanced across the room and remembered the boat again. Sitting on the kitchen table was an old, frayed cross-body bag, originally grey but turning more and more brown with time. It was Lin’s work bag, donning the Republic City police emblem near the leather-bordered zipper across the top. The worn strap was tossed over the edge of the table.

“Is Lin here?” Kya looked back to her sister-in-law.

Pema only pointed towards the open back door. A small grin curled onto her lips.

Hesitantly glancing back at Lin’s bag on the chestnut table, Kya stepped over to the threshold and gazed out into the garden. She set her hand on the door frame. The image before her made her heart flutter.

Still in her work uniform, Lin sat with her legs crossed on the border of rocks surrounding the lychee trees, holding a small paintbrush between her fingers. A pad of painting paper sat open on the stones in front of her. Ikki, all chittering shades of yellow and red, sat only a few feet in front of the police chief, back turned to the door where Kya stood. Her own paper was stained with watercolor. Her expressive voice filled the air as she rambled on about blueberry bushes and sunsets. Little Rohan was peacefully asleep in Lin’s lap with his head resting on her chest. Likely not a very forgiving pillow, but heart-wrenchingly sweet nonetheless.

Kya’s eyes had welled up with tears. Weeks ago, if the kids had insisted on spending time with their honorary aunt, Lin would have rolled her eyes and crossed her arms the entire time in defiance. Now, her face was calm. Eyes bright, muscles clearly relaxed beneath her armor. A brick red robe had been haphazardly tied around her neck like a cape. She nodded in time to Ikki’s stories, and… was that a smile forming across her cheeks?

Ikki’s voice suddenly cut through the garden. “Aunt Kya!” She waved a paint-stained hand in the air. “Come paint with us!”

Kya watched Lin’s eyes shoot upwards, and her cheeks went pink. Smiling, Kya went to sit beside her wife, hoping the warmth in her chest would ease any of her Lin’s embarrassment. Lin tensed a bit as Kya draped an arm around Lin’s cape-covered shoulders. Kya imagined Ikki picking it out of a drawer somewhere and insisting Lin put it on, having her kneel down to tie it loosely around her collarbones. ( _ There, _ Ikki would have said,  _ Just like a superhero, like Meelo says! _ )

“We’re painting the bison!” Ikki declared proudly, pointing at the stables down across the yard.

“I can see that,” said Kya approvingly. Grinning, she grabbed Lin’s hand to keep her from covering up her artwork: a perfectly crisp interpretation of a flying bison, complete with a few lemurs dancing in the air, holding peaches in their tiny paws. After leaning down to press a kiss to Rohan’s head, Kya’s happy eyes met Lin’s for a moment to communicate the simple message.  _ It’s beautiful. _

Lin eased her shoulders a bit and flashed Kya a smile. Pretty face, soft lips.  _ Thank you, love. _

Ikki’s painting was a bit more interpretive. Her bison was also wearing a cape, identical to the one Lin was wearing, save for the smiley-faces Ikki had painted onto her page. A few rainbows and stars occupied the blank space with splashes of bright colors, lovely oranges and greens. A couple of leaves had fallen onto her paper and she had let them stay, so that they casted sharp shadows. 

“It’s so pretty, Ikki,” Kya said to her niece, reaching forward to rub the girl’s arm. “So much color. It looks so happy.” Ikki grinned wider than most people would be able to grin.

“Aunt Lin helped me,” said Ikki proudly, pointing at the other woman. “She showed me about per -- perspeck…” 

“Perspective,” Lin quietly corrected. She was obviously still a bit mortified about being called  _ Aunt Lin, _ her cheeks deepening in their shade of red, even though her hand sat gently over Rohan’s little back.

Kya kissed her wife’s temple. Some brief assurance. The golden glow in her chest only continued to swell. “Did she? That’s so nice of her, huh?”

Ikki nodded. “She told me about how the sky bison and the badgermoles both like melon, and how the paint we use is made out of…” She tapped the end of her paintbrush against her chin in thought and some purple splotched on her skin. “What was it again?”

Lin instinctively licked her thumb and wiped the paint off Ikki’s face. “Plant dyes, Ikki. They’re made out of plant dyes.”

“That’s it!” Ikki resumed painting and rambled on about the formation of rainbows and how the spirits like to play in them to replenish their positive energy, dancing in red for love, yellow for happiness, blue for peace. That, Lin definitely did not tell her.

Kya remembered every time her nieces and nephews had left Lin annoyed or down-right angry. They were too loud, too energetic, “I’m not their mother,” “I have work to do.” Kya always knew how much Lin wanted the kids to like her. She hated them to know her as cold and unyielding so she played it up in the hopes that they would lose interest -- but it was clear that Kya’s hard-headed girl had come through with some softness in her heart for the little airbenders and Kya smiled wide at the thought.

She had spent the last few minutes sitting there desperately trying not to cry. Lin’s happy expression, the maternal way she interacted with Ikki and Rohan, the way that she set down her paintbrush to re-secure the cape she wore. Kya brought Lin’s hand to her lips and kissed each of her fingertips and their smiling eyes met. Whatever embarrassment Lin had felt when seeing Kya in the doorway, it had certainly been banished out into the air. Lin probably figured it was about time she established a shameless relationship with her wife’s family. 

Setting her hand over Lin’s on Rohan’s back, Kya leaned her head on Lin’s and she said quietly, “Leave it to a Beifong to go soft for some children.”

Lin sucked in her cheeks to keep from smiling. “Shut up,” she whispered.

Back in the doorway to the kitchen, Pema appeared and called, “Come get washed up for dinner, kids! Ikki, make sure to wash your paint brushes, okay?” 

“Coming!” Ikki quickly packed up her supplies.

Lin carefully lifted the sleeping Rohan from her lap, hands firm on his sides as she handed him to his sister. Ikki carried the boy back inside. She swayed her head from side-to-side, humming a little tune to him until they disappeared into the kitchen.

With the kids well out of range, Kya pulled Lin in for a firm hug. "Come here." 

Lin accepted the hug gratefully, easing into her wife.

Kya set her forehead on Lin’s cheek and brought a hand to the opposite side of the metalbender’s face. Her fingers rubbed through soft grey hair and she felt a few stray tears fall onto the fabric around Lin’s shoulders.

Lin raised an assertive finger. “If you so much as mention this to  _ anyone _ on the force, you are a dead fucking woman.”

“You love them,” Kya said, sing-songing a bit. She let Lin see her watery eyes before kissing her deeply, acknowledging the beautiful way that the late-evening sun shone on the curves of Lin’s face. "You love the kids."

Lin rolled her eyes before easing into the kiss. “You caught me, huh? I guess I succeeded in letting them turn me fucking soft.”

Kya pulled away for only a moment, just long enough to touch the red cape and say, “Congratulations,  _ Aunt Lin. _ ” Another tight hug. A lovely, warm embrace. Deep love and appreciation exchanged between them, sent with firm arms and gentle kisses on smiling cheeks.

Lin was glad to kiss her wife again. Perhaps her new label was something she could get used to hearing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I will be working on some new stuff soon, so look out for that. As always, let me know your thoughts :) If you've made it to the end of this entire collection, thank you so, so much and I really hope you've enjoyed it!!


End file.
